Chữa đề IELTS Writing task 2: “Subsidised sports for employees: More advantageous for companies or employees?”

Đề bài

Chữa đề IELTS writing task 2: Subsidised sports for employees: More advantageous for companies or employees

Some employers offer their employees subsidised membership and sport, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Is this more advantageous for the company or the employees?

Phân tích đề:

Đây là dạng Discussion + Opinion Essay, yêu cầu thí sinh phân tích lợi ích của việc tài trợ (subsidised membership and sport) đối với hai đối tượng:

• Nhân viên: sức khỏe, tinh thần, lợi ích cá nhân.
• Công ty: tăng năng suất, giảm chi phí liên quan đến sức khỏe.

Đồng thời, thí sinh phải đưa ra quan điểm cá nhân (ai được lợi nhiều hơn) và lập luận thuyết phục.

Dàn ý

More advantageous to both

1. Health: Staff stay more active => healthy => work more efficiently

= company increase in revenue or higher productivity (in work)

2. Employee relationship: Staff have time to bond with each other outside of work => work harmoniously => better teamwork performance

= company becomes a family-like environment, further pave the way for mental satisfaction of their employee and boost their reputation (inner bond and public image)

3. Win-win: Appreciate the company’s investment on their health => perform better => higher work efficiency.

Bài mẫu band 7.0 (280 words)

Some company leaders encourage their workers to participate in physical activities by covering their membership fee, which indirectly enhances their performance at work. This essay is going to highlight the writer’s belief that such a phenomenon is equally beneficial for both the company and their employees.

When having more chances to get active, people’s health has a tendency to be strengthened. This often plays a major role in keeping their spirits high and boosting their professional performance. In turn, their parent companies would experience a highly potential jump in periodical revenue and work productivity.

It is also likely that when employees do sports together, their relationship could be enriched. When they take part in physical pursuits, fully funded by their company, not only do their bonds have an opportunity to grow but so possibly does their friendship. This would translate to their work place where they are able to work harmoniously with each other. Such a better teamwork performance is believed to do wonders to the business establishments’ inner bond and public image as offering a family-like environment with members’ high satisfaction.

As could be seen, when companies show that they care for their employees’ health by investing in gym membership, their employees are inclined to show the same appreciation, probably seen in their firmer dedication at work catering to a collective result. That is credited not only for each individual but also for the company as a whole.

In conclusion, business owners investing in their members’ physical health benefits both their companies’ public reputation and their employee’s emotional connection. The merits that could take place are rather mutual than single-sided for both parties.

Ghi chú

• To keep one’s spirits high (idiom): giữ một tinh thần tích cực
• Periodical revenue (n): doanh thu định kỳ
• To do wonders to something/someone (phrase): có lợi cho cái gì hoặc cho ai
• (be) inclined to V: có xu hướng làm gì

Đoàn Nương

Tôi là Đoàn Nương - Giám đốc trung tâm ngoại ngữ ECE. Tôi hiện đang là giảng viên của khoa ngôn ngữ các nước nói tiếng Anh - Trường Đại Học Quốc Gia Hà Nội. Tôi đã có 19 năm kinh nghiệm giảng dạy IELTS và 15 năm là giảng viên Đại Học. Tôi mong muốn đưa ECE trở thành trung tâm ngoại ngữ cho tất cả mọi người, mang tới cho học viên môi trường học tập tiếng Anh chuyên nghiệp và hiệu quả.